Self-improvement: Consider potential dangerous side effects

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The biggest problem about failing a task when aiming to become a better version of ourselves is not the failure of the task itself, but the collateral impact it might have on every other activity we’re doing.

It ignites a feeling of overall incapability. An unconscious belief might settle affecting our motivation, even for the things we typically enjoy.

For instance, at the moment, I’m reading a book called “The Shaolin Spirit”. I love this book, since all of its wisdom deeply resonates and is inline with the experiences I made so far by myself.

The Shaolin way is based on discipline that requires a lot of energy. But as a former long term depressed person who experienced burnout, I have to be very cautious about it.

Yet I wasn’t…

Energy is probably the most precious resource we have. Yet, personally, I rarely have been mindful about mine, and I used to go all-in for whatever I was doing.

While all of your cards are laid out, you’re left with none in your hand to make small adjustments.

I got inspired and tried to adopt techniques into my daily life to work with my “bad habits”. Initially very motivated, but soon drown in despair, frustration and self-loath.

There’s no one size fits all.

I haven’t done my math right. Since the setting Shi Heng Yl describes in the book, is totally different to mine.

He explains that the candidates have to submit themselves to the rules of the temple for 1 year before they’re considered becoming novices.

“We take all decisions for them during the year. We set everything from morning till evening. When to wake up, when to train, when to eat, when to sleep. They cannot decide for them-selves nor skip any of the activities. No room is left for personal preferences or private activities.”

Be mindful about your own setting

When reading the book, everything sounded so easy to follow and without further reflections, I gave myself a challenge.

Yet if you try to be your own master and student at the same time, you’ll constantly have to work hard mentally to keep yourself disciplined. This alone consumes most of your energy. And that’s the part they take off from you, while leaving you nothing but the instructions that you have to carry out.

So I went through frustration and felt trapped in a hole that not only made me despair about my inability to change my habits, but it also affected my enjoyment of writing. Thoughts have risen that went far beyond of what actually happened.

As a bottom line…

There are countless guides and tips for every aspect in becoming a better version of yourself on the internet. And some might be exactly what you need.

The point is to remind yourself that such guides, or books you got inspired by, have been written commonly to describe the concept and general steps to get there.

Yet they can’t take into account the pre-requisites defined by your actual setting.

It might be exactly what would be good for you, yet also might require slight adjustments to make it work for you.

The risk of the consequences affecting way more than the task itself is too high; and the potential damage is too important.

Unconscious thoughts may rise to question even the things we enjoy.

This goes in circles, and if it remains unnoticed, leaves you stagnated in an overall unsatisfied emotional state.

If you find yourself losing motivation for something you normally enjoy doing, consider the possibility that it’s just an afterthought brought on by something totally else you failed at.