No, I didn't know... But I can feel it now! On one hand I know she's going her path now, this time, children leaving their nest. And it's normal that there's a separation taking place. On the other hand, I also know how much anger she carries along due to the divorce, anger she doesn't talk about. I know because I hold anger against my father for the very same cause. All I can do now is to solve this between me and my father, blessed enough to have him still around. Hoping it will help her too. She wished me a good morning 2 days ago, though nothing more, I trust our bond isn't totally broken... Letting her go now, finding her very own space. All I can do. Thank you so much for your kind words Deb! I really appreciate to have you here! ❤️🍀🙏
I'm back! ha ha! Fell sound asleep then had a long day today! Strange to be so many hours behind you and other friends here abroad :)
You are very right to try and make amends with your father. It will be healthy in the end. I look at love now as seeing God doing it with me. He goes before me, because I can't. I'm flesh and no good. I will hold back. I will be good one minute and unforgiving the next. It takes reaching depths of despair where you decide to love like that -- and that love turns into solid love. It's deep. I'm glad you heard from her. Trust in the plan. Let it be written for her and you and do what you can, like mend fences. That's for you anyways. It's a first step. Her space is definitely important in this season of her life. She's young. She needs to sort it with your blessing.
We were wagered against the "other family" once our son got married. This is over millions of family stories. Nothing is perfect. We certainly weren't but man we loved our kids and we never saw it coming. It gutted us, especially me. I was very bonded with the first grandchild, barely three. I never thought my flesh and blood could do that. We realize after much work, pain, etc., that much of it has to do with the pressures he feels from his marriage, his job, his partner, her "imperfect" family, which puts unreal amounts of pressure on them. She is very addicted to them. Not many friends. It was very easy to feel angry with us. We raised the kids independent, never hovered, no pressure, did our thing, supported their dreams, loved them deeply, but we were vulnerable, sensitive parents with normal opinions. We fought. We were normal in many ways. You always strike out at those who love you and won't fight with you. So during a moment of insanity, in May 2020, when the world was on fire, fires were lit and we became targets. His wife, who we love, was also getting extremely serious about holistic medicine. The pandemic, we believe made her suffer and we know she struggles with ocd. I think our son just kept hearing over and over that we weren't good for him. It was all crazy. Too much to get into. I will pray you can walk through this with the confidence that your story is being written still and it might be hard, but in the end it can be beautiful. After two and a half years, our family story is still being written but I am letting it be written. I take what I get when we see them as if God is peeling back a curtain in the theater and I am seeing this beauty and then I go and do me. Sending you much love. oxox
Dear Patrick, this broke my heart. I don't know if you know this but I began my writing journey two years after our oldest son decided to stop speaking to us and withhold grandchildren as well. It almost killed me. It broke us. We didn't know what we had done. We worked on whatever we thought we could work on. There is so much I can say but please know that I'm here and I have a lot of insight as to casual estrangement or casual and sudden dismissal/rejection of parents. You write beautifully. God Bless you. ox
Thanks Deb! I truly appreciate your feedback and insights from your experiences. Yes 2020, the pandemic was terrible... So many relationships have split. Good friendships suddenly broke. I was very depressed then and cared very little about what happened around me. Today I know that it was just right for me. I saw an article about positive ignorance that made me laugh. We can't change the world but we can change ourselves. The only way towards a better world anyway. It saved me from a lot of stress. Same principle with my daughter now. We can't control for as much as we would like to. Accepting while trying to cleanup my own shit I'm still carrying. Hopefully will clear the path and open a door for reunion later on. 🙏🍀
No, I didn't know... But I can feel it now! On one hand I know she's going her path now, this time, children leaving their nest. And it's normal that there's a separation taking place. On the other hand, I also know how much anger she carries along due to the divorce, anger she doesn't talk about. I know because I hold anger against my father for the very same cause. All I can do now is to solve this between me and my father, blessed enough to have him still around. Hoping it will help her too. She wished me a good morning 2 days ago, though nothing more, I trust our bond isn't totally broken... Letting her go now, finding her very own space. All I can do. Thank you so much for your kind words Deb! I really appreciate to have you here! ❤️🍀🙏
Dear Patrick,
I'm back! ha ha! Fell sound asleep then had a long day today! Strange to be so many hours behind you and other friends here abroad :)
You are very right to try and make amends with your father. It will be healthy in the end. I look at love now as seeing God doing it with me. He goes before me, because I can't. I'm flesh and no good. I will hold back. I will be good one minute and unforgiving the next. It takes reaching depths of despair where you decide to love like that -- and that love turns into solid love. It's deep. I'm glad you heard from her. Trust in the plan. Let it be written for her and you and do what you can, like mend fences. That's for you anyways. It's a first step. Her space is definitely important in this season of her life. She's young. She needs to sort it with your blessing.
We were wagered against the "other family" once our son got married. This is over millions of family stories. Nothing is perfect. We certainly weren't but man we loved our kids and we never saw it coming. It gutted us, especially me. I was very bonded with the first grandchild, barely three. I never thought my flesh and blood could do that. We realize after much work, pain, etc., that much of it has to do with the pressures he feels from his marriage, his job, his partner, her "imperfect" family, which puts unreal amounts of pressure on them. She is very addicted to them. Not many friends. It was very easy to feel angry with us. We raised the kids independent, never hovered, no pressure, did our thing, supported their dreams, loved them deeply, but we were vulnerable, sensitive parents with normal opinions. We fought. We were normal in many ways. You always strike out at those who love you and won't fight with you. So during a moment of insanity, in May 2020, when the world was on fire, fires were lit and we became targets. His wife, who we love, was also getting extremely serious about holistic medicine. The pandemic, we believe made her suffer and we know she struggles with ocd. I think our son just kept hearing over and over that we weren't good for him. It was all crazy. Too much to get into. I will pray you can walk through this with the confidence that your story is being written still and it might be hard, but in the end it can be beautiful. After two and a half years, our family story is still being written but I am letting it be written. I take what I get when we see them as if God is peeling back a curtain in the theater and I am seeing this beauty and then I go and do me. Sending you much love. oxox
Dear Patrick, this broke my heart. I don't know if you know this but I began my writing journey two years after our oldest son decided to stop speaking to us and withhold grandchildren as well. It almost killed me. It broke us. We didn't know what we had done. We worked on whatever we thought we could work on. There is so much I can say but please know that I'm here and I have a lot of insight as to casual estrangement or casual and sudden dismissal/rejection of parents. You write beautifully. God Bless you. ox
Thanks Deb! I truly appreciate your feedback and insights from your experiences. Yes 2020, the pandemic was terrible... So many relationships have split. Good friendships suddenly broke. I was very depressed then and cared very little about what happened around me. Today I know that it was just right for me. I saw an article about positive ignorance that made me laugh. We can't change the world but we can change ourselves. The only way towards a better world anyway. It saved me from a lot of stress. Same principle with my daughter now. We can't control for as much as we would like to. Accepting while trying to cleanup my own shit I'm still carrying. Hopefully will clear the path and open a door for reunion later on. 🙏🍀